Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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