I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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