Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
