Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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