dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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