Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
