We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
