come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
we're so committed to being not committed
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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