You don't have asthma, your pregnant
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
