did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
