i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I enjoy the company of your penis
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