it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
