I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
