Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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