I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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