And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
