I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
