im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
