Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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