she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
