im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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