So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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