My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
