the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
