i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
