I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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