Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
