i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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