I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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