so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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