I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
