Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
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