I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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