Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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