My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
