Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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