Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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