Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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