my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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