Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
