Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
