I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
