I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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