To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
