Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
sick fucks of a feather flock together
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
