You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
