shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
