how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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