A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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