When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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