I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
