I never want to see another naked old woman again.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
