There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
