its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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