She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Fuck me I smell like cheese
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
