He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
