no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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