I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
